


Fate

by QueenHimiko



Series: Ceiphied's Curse [4]
Category: Slayers (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Becoming Parents, Emotional Abuse, F/M, Family Drama, Original Characters - Freeform, Self Harm, lina is zel's mil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-15 07:11:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13608246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenHimiko/pseuds/QueenHimiko
Summary: When his daughter is born with a shard of Shabranigdu in her soul, Zelgadis struggles with his hatred for Rezo and learning to love her. Sequel to The Storm, Behind the Portrait, What Might Have Been and same continuity as Of Cursed Lands and Cursed Lines and Jealousy.





	1. Corentina

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own The Slayers, I just play in the sandbox.

“Excuse me,” a young woman said, stopping Zelgadis as he walked towards the wagon, arms filled with a box from Lina and Gourry’s cottage. “Are you the owner?”

“No,” Zel said to the woman, who was standing beside a man who looked old enough to be her grandfather, as he shifted the box in his arms so that he could indicate Lina, who could be seen through the open door of the house packing in the living room. “You would need to talk to her.”

“Thank you.” The woman said as Zelgadis glanced at the man again, and this time he noticed something about the distinct style of the vest he wore. The only place he’d ever seen it before was in the village he had lived in with his parents when he was a small child. It caused him to give the man a longer glance, and to his astonishment he found that he looked familiar. And judging by the way the man was looking at him, Zel was certain the feeling was mutual.

“You look just like a man I used to know. But he died years ago.” The man said.

Zel held out his hand, “Zelgadis Greywards.”

The man’s jaw dropped, “But that can’t be!”

“Why not?” Zel asked.

“Because the fire that claimed your parents’ home killed everyone inside. We never found your body or Zolf’s but we searched for days and eventually concluded that you two being so young and small that there must have been nothing left.”

Suddenly something stirred in Zel’s brain. “Zor Benet?” he asked.

“Oh my gosh,” Zor said as he clasped Zel’s hands, “Did Zolf make it out with you? Is my son still alive?”

Zelgadis shook his head, still reeling from his own sense of shock, “You’re Zor Benet? But he told us everyone in Burgrav was dead, killed from the plague!”

From the porch he barely noticed as two of Lina and Gourry’s daughters, Attie and Pomona, came out with their arms filled with boxes. Their ears perked as they noticed Zel talking with Zor, “There’s never been plague in Burgrav, boy, it was too remote. But how can you be Dorn Greyward’s son? You’re so young! And what happened to my son?”

“Pomona, go put a kettle on.” Attie whispered under her breath as she put the box in the wagon and went to stand beside Zel. Firmly she grabbed his hand.

“My great grandfather found us in the forest. I guess he was just planning to…” Zel stumbled for a moment, but then decided to call it was it was, “kidnap only me, but since I was with Zolf, he took him, too. He told me plague had come to the village and, well, you know how paranoid my father was about the plague. And since my grandfather was a healer I never thought to question him! We stayed in a cabin at the base of the mountains for a few weeks, but when no one came for us Rezo made a show of checking the village and said everyone was dead. Zolf and I thought, well, your wife was doing so poorly after delivering her baby, we thought that she was the first victim.”

“She lived. She never believed Zolf was dead, until one day, many years later, she said she couldn’t feel him anymore, and she passed shortly thereafter. We all thought it was a mother’s hope. But he was alive! Where is he now?”

Zelgadis shook his head, “It was ages ago. Decades. Zolf reached adulthood and he became an accomplished sorcerer. But we fought against a powerful enemy, and Zolf was killed in the battle. I’m so sorry.”

Zor blinked rapidly as he shook his head, “Well, at least now I know.”

“Why don’t you two come inside?” Attie said, “Sit down, have some tea.”

“Yes. Mr. Benet, this is my fiancé, Attie the Green. Attie, this is Zor Benet, a friend from the village I once lived in.” Zelgadis said, his voice sounding distant in his ears as he wondered how he could never have suspected, all these years, that it was all a ruse. How could he have been so blindly trusting? “What happened to my parents? Were their bodies found?”

“Yes, and buried.” Zor replied.

Attie put a hand on his arm as they walked up the steps of the patio, and the knowledge sank in that Rezo had taken more from him than he had ever realized. He’d not just cursed his body, he had killed his parents and taken him from a loving home. Surely if he’d been able to stay with his parents, then none of this would have happened. 

Anger tore through him, demolishing the scars that had formed through the years. He stopped by the door to usher Zor through, and then indicated for Attie to go on ahead of him, and the fact that her clothing seemed tight on her stood out disquietingly. 

When she was a young girl she had experienced a prophecy that she would give birth to a daughter who had a shard of Shabranigdu in her soul. A daughter who had the same name as Zel’s mother, Corentina. Zel wished that Attie had told him before he had slept with her. Sure, she’d taken the usual precautions of having a sterility spell. But there were times when those spells failed. And a niggling feeling grew within him that this was one of those times.

Attie hadn’t said anything about being pregnant. She also hadn’t said that she wasn’t. And Attie had a tendency to keep secrets and shut down when she was scared. Was this one of those times when she was shutting down? Had fate snared them in its web?

Attie turned and looked at him questioningly as he stood back by the door. He took a deep breath and followed her in. Whether or not she was pregnant, the damage had been done, and there was no use in obsessing over it. He’d made a commitment, and whichever way things went he was going to see it through. Still, his tongue bled as he bit into it as he did all he could to put the matter from his mind and focus on reminiscing about Zolf with his father, rather than dwelling over his fears about a child he would hopefully never sire.

* * *

“Our last night here.” Lina said as she watched from the porch as Gourry drilled their youngest child, Luke, in swordplay while Attie stood beside her, looking unusually contemplative. Zel had gone for a walk, but Lina didn’t read much into it. Since Zor’s visit he had been broody, and for once Lina couldn’t fault him. News like that would be a lot to take in. “And then we’ll be starting a new chapter in Saillune City.”

“Hm.” Attie replied.

Lina stared at her for a moment, and then ran her hand through her daughter’s short blond curls. “It looks like the shampoo that Pomona gave you to grow your hair out is working.”

Attie finally managed to smile. After losing her hair after suffering a serious battle injury while fighting Xellos, she had been in a rush to grow it out before her wedding and, though she was not one for beauty routines and primping, she agreed to try her sister’s remedies. “It has. And I actually like that it curls now. Hopefully by next month it will be down to my shoulders. That’s how long I want it to be for the wedding.” 

She choked over the last part of her sentence, and Lina gently she put a hand on her arm. She’d been aware that something had been troubling Attie for some time, but it was one of those things that Attie hadn’t wanted to confide no matter how hard Lina had pried. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. I mean, it can’t be any worse than Min having to tell me that she’d gotten most of the town, including me, knocked up, can it?”

Attie squeezed her eyes shut, and then turned towards the house and ran in. Alarmed, Lina followed her and sat down beside her on the couch. As soon as the door had shut behind them Attie burst into tears, but didn’t say anything. Lina started stroking her hair and resisted the urge to lob a series of questions at her. All the while, something that Dianna, her deceased daughter that Lina had been able to converse with during her own near death experience, had said rose and echoed within her mind. “Atalanta, I have no idea what is bothering you. But when your father and I nearly died during that last battle with Nigel Shabranigdu, Dianna told me something that I couldn’t make sense of, but perhaps you can. She told me to tell you not to worry, that she wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you.”

“She did?” Attie said, lifting her face up, and Lina was surprised to see the relief within her features.

Lina squeezed her hands, “Yes, your big sister is looking out for you from beyond the grave. So whatever it is, everything will be fine. Now, can you tell me what is going on?”

“I’m pregnant.” Attie said.

“Oh,” Lina said as she wrapped an arm around her. It would make sense why Attie was scared. Lina had nearly died delivering Dianna, and her other daughter, Min’s, labors were known for being arduous and dangerous. Dianna had been a midwife, so surely knowing she was looking after her would calm any fears Attie had about dying during the delivery, “Hey, don’t worry about it. Especially at your age I don’t think anyone will get moralistic.”

“It has nothing to do with that!” Attie snapped as Lina’s confusion grew.

“What is it then?” 

“When I was thirteen I had a prophecy.” Attie finally said, stopping Lina in her tracks. A prophecy? Attie had never said anything! “That one day I would have a little girl named Corentina, who is cursed like Dianna.”

“Oh.” Lina said, too stunned for a moment to think of anything constructive to say. Dianna had been cursed with a shard of Shabranigdu in her soul. That had been the reason that Lina’s delivery with her had nearly killed her, as Shabranidu had sensed the perfect opportunity to kill the woman who had destroyed two fifths of him. And then during Dianna’s life controlling Shabranigdu’s rage had been a constant struggle, as well as battling the depression that put her at risk for going into a state where she would desire the destruction of the world. Until the day she was murdered, Lina had lived with the fear that she would have to kill her own daughter to prevent her from aligning with Shabranigdu. No wonder Attie was petrified!

Yet as difficult and agonizing as raising Dianna had been, it had paid off, especially after her death. Dianna had found she could exert some control over the other people who held Shabranigdu within their souls and prevent them from destroying the world. Dianna’s intervention had played a pivotal role in the defeat of Nigel Shabranigdu. And it gave Lina comfort to know that Dianna was still around in some form, even if she rarely got to see her.

After Dianna had died, Lina had struggled with overcoming a grief so deep it threatened to overwhelm her and the awkward truth that her life was a lot easier and carefree with Dianna gone. She felt guilty about feeling relief over being free of the burdens of loving someone who was cursed with something so evil in their soul. And she had wondered, if given the choice, if she would have traded that relief to have those burdens to be with her daughter again.

A strange sense of calmness filled Lina. If Dianna could exert influence over her hosts, then perhaps she could reach Dianna through her grandchild. And suddenly the burdens didn’t seem overbearing. It would all work out. Attie, meanwhile, continued to cry, “I was always just so terrified of going through what you went through. I don’t know how you went on to have the rest of us after it. It haunted my nightmares for so long.”

Suddenly, Attie’s lack of interest in settling down and having children made sense. Lina closed her eyes and held her close, “How far along are you?”

“Five months. I’ve been feeling good, I kept thinking there was no way because of the sterility spell, and you and Di and Min were all so sick whenever you were pregnant that I kept thinking that there was no way I could be, because I’d be puking constantly if I were. But then my clothes started getting tighter and the midwife I visited said that Xellos’ attack must have sent my body into shock and made the sterility spell ineffective. I think I was in some heavy denial and feel so stupid now.”

“Denial and stupidity run in the family.” Lina said chidingly, “And it looks like Di is already coming through. By the time I was five months with her my stomach already felt like a giant bruise. Stay close to Saillune, though. We’ll hire the best midwife the kingdom has to offer. This is the safest place for you to be right now.”

Attie nodded in agreement before she said quietly. “Knowing that Di will protect me, well, I’m not so scared about dying anymore. But I’m scared of what Zel will do.” 

“Yeah.” Lina mused contemplatively. The timing couldn’t have been worse, especially with this fresh wound opened.

“I told him about the prophecy, and at first he freaked out, like he had when he learned what Dianna was.” Attie explained, “But then he came around and said he wanted to make it work with me, even if it does mean having a child cursed with Shabranigdu.”

“But…” Lina said once Attie stopped talking.

“But he’s been having nightmares. I’m scared about what he’ll do if he learns this is really happening.”

Lina exhaled, “Look, I’ve known Zel for a lot longer than you have. He’ll do the right thing. And even if he doesn’t your father and I will take care of you, but I don’t think it will come to that.”

“I think he’ll do the right thing, but would he be able to love her?” Attie asked. “That’s what is scaring me. No matter what Di did, you and Dad loved her and were there for her, and she needed that.”

Lina patted her knee, “You remember how I reacted when I learned I was pregnant with Pomona?”

“Yeah,” Attie said, smiling a little as she remembered the incident where Min had uncovered a fertility statue and gotten most of Zefiel City pregnant. 

“Min and I were both so mad to be pregnant again. Yet when those babies are placed in your arms it all melts away. It’s a powerful magic all its own.” Lina explained. 

“It’s a bit different when your child contains that soul of someone who tormented you.” Attie said.

“You’ll understand in time. So will Zel.” Lina said, “And if he doesn’t, I’ll beat it into him.”

Attie laughed a little and then leaned her head on Lina’s shoulder. “Do you think it’s Rubia or Vincent’s shard?” Lina asked.

“The timing works a bit better for Vincent’s. I’d feel better if it was Rubia’s.” Attie explained.

“Me too.” Lina said, as the host’s ability to control Shabranigdu was greatly influenced by factors in his previous host’s life. “All the same, we know better what to do now than we did when we had Dianna. There was so much trial and error, especially when we didn’t know why she would lash out like she did. It will work out. Especially if Di is able to exert any control over the host.” Lina considered for a minute, “Do you need me to be there when you tell Zel?”

“No, but I may need to talk to you after words.”

“I’ll stay up.” Lina said. “Do you want me to tell your father?”

“What will he think?” Attie asked.

Lina smiled, “Honestly, he’s just going to be overwhelmingly happy to hear another grandchild is on the way. It’s been awhile since Luke was a baby, and the best thing about having a grandchild is you get to cuddle a baby and sleep through the night! And a girl this time! After three grandsons we’ve been wanting a granddaughter. He’ll be thrilled.”

Attie smiled, “Go ahead and tell him then.”

* * *

“You’re drunk.” Attie said to Zelgadis as he walked into their room. 

“Only a little,” Zelgadis said as he sat on the bed and took off his shoes, “And you never came to the pub to find me.”

“I have to be careful now. I can’t go to the pubs anymore.” She said quietly, and then she started speaking rapidly, “I don’t know how it happened, but Corentina is on her way. The midwife said that the shock of Xellos’ attack messed with my biology…”

“It’s done.” He cut her off as he closed his eyes. So he was doomed to raise a child like Rezo. And his brief optimism that he could put his rage and grief aside and forgive and love his daughter would be sorely tested now that he had good reason to believe that Rezo had murdered his parents and kidnapped him and Zolf.

Attie put a hand on his shoulder, “Is that all you’re going to say?”

“I’m going to get you some tea.” He said as he stood up and tried to stay steady.

“Zel!” she said as she got up, “It’s going to be okay. Tell me it’s going to be okay!”

He grasped her by the shoulders, “It’s going to be okay.”

He’s better start going through the motions until it sank in. Fake it till you make it. “We’ll be okay. And you need rest and sustenance. I’ll be back with the tea.”

He exited the room and closed the door behind him as memories swarmed around him. Of Rezo, coming to get him to tell him his parents had died when he was just a small child and that Zel was to live with him now. Of how Rezo had no intentions of coddling a boy who had suffered a horrendous loss and instead put high expectations upon him, expectations that looking back Zelgadis realized weren’t realistic. And how now, knowing Rezo’s true nature, he wondered if Rezo fed off his distress as he jumped through hoops to try to impress him while Rezo would smack him down.

“If you were my son I would have died from the shame.” All these years later, Rezo’s words still burned within him.

Zel’s hands clenched into fists. Especially as, try as he did, he only had a few memories of his parents. He remembered that he had loved them. So they must have loved him in turn. But he couldn’t remember what they did to create that love. And he had millions of memories of Rezo dressing him down and tearing him apart. It wasn’t fair.

While he had wanted marriage and children for so long, and been horrible to Attie over the issue, he was coming face to face with the fact that it would be a struggle for him to be a loving father even to a normal child. But to a tainted one? What had he been thinking?

“You okay?” Gourry asked, causing Zel to jump.

“Fine,” he said, “Just making Attie some tea.”

“And so the night raids to the kitchen begin.” 

“She told you?” Zel asked incredulously as, for a brief moment, he feared what the swordsman would think about him getting his daughter pregnant out of wedlock.

“No.” Gourry said as he started to pull some bread and sandwich fixings from the cupboards. “But she’s getting to the point where it’s starting to be noticeable.”

“She says she just found out a few days ago.”

Gourry shrugged as he smiled. “It will be fine. These things happen.”

Well, at least Gourry was as easygoing as always. But that really was the least of his problems. “It has a shard of Shabranigdu in it.”

Gourry’s face registered no surprise, he simply asked. “How do you know that?”

Zelgadis explained about Attie’s prophecy as he fixed the tea. When he finished, Gourry looked strangely contemplative. “It may seem overwhelming now, but once you see her, you’ll fall in love with her.”

Zelgadis bristled, “But after all that Rezo did…”

“Your daughter won’t be Rezo!” Gourry cut in. “How many people have you met with shards of Shabranigdu in them now? And how many of them were like Rezo?”

Zelgadis sighed, “They were all different in their ways. But they were all sadists.”

“I’m not sure Rubia was.”

“Or we just didn’t know her enough.”

Gourry sighed, “Keep up that attitude and all you will see in Corentina is what you despise. That won’t save her. Or you.”

Zelgadis felt sick, “So I should just ignore the evil that is in her?”

“There’s evil in all of us.” Gourry countered. “We don’t need it shoved in our faces.”

“This is different. Shabranigdu will be in her soul!”

“And your daughter will be a separate person from that. He can influence her, but if you give her reasons to resist him, she will. You have to see her humanity. It’s how we were successful with Dianna.”

Zelgadis swallowed his retort that by some measures they weren’t successful with Dianna. She’d had several collapses where she’d nearly aligned herself with Shabranigdu. And she had hurt many people during her rages. They’d never been able to trust her to be alone with children, and all of her numerous pregnancies had ended in miscarriages. But at the end of the day, he couldn’t argue with the fact that despite the failures of Dianna’s life, she’d also been an accomplished and sought after midwife and had saved the lives of numerous women and babies under her care, and that Dianna had also died while casting a Resurrection spell to save his life. The edge to his anger abated at the thought. Especially when he considered that without Dianna’s intervention from beyond the grave, Nigel Shabranigdu would likely have killed them all and destroyed the world.

“You’re right. And I hate that you’re right. Because if I’m going to be honest with myself, I want revenge. But Rezo can never be brought to justice for what he did.”

“Then don’t make things worse by making your daughter suffer for his crimes!”

Zelgadis straightened as if slapped. “No, I would never…”

“Isn’t that what you’re already doing? She hasn’t even taken a breath yet, and you’re expecting and looking for evil in her.”

Zelgadis grabbed some cookies and put them on a plate. “Perhaps it will get easier, when she’s born, and I can see what she is rather than what I fear she will be. Dianna knew what buttons to press, how to make me feel like I was in Rezo’s clutches again, and she enjoyed twisting that knife! I just don’t know how I can live with that thrown in my face day in and day out, and by my own child! If Dianna had been…” 

Something about Gourry’s demeanor changed, and it was not a comfortable one. “I suggest you man up and find a way to live with it. Or if you’re not strong enough to put this behind you, then you’d better just leave now before she’s born.”

Zelgadis’ eyes widened in surprise as Gourry continued steadily, “Lina and I will take care of Attie and the baby and love them no matter what happens. And if all you can see is your pain and hatred, then they deserve better.”

Zelgadis fumbled for a moment as he berated himself for stupidly venting about Dianna, especially after her sacrifice. Shame coursed through him as he stammered, “I promised Attie I’d make it work. And I meant it. And that’s what I intend to do.”

Gourry stood before him, displaying his full and impressive height. Even though he was aging rapidly and his health was starting to fail, he proved that he could still be intimidating if he needed to be. “Get it together, Zel. Move past this. You have a few months. And you need to put all of your energies to building the future rather than wallowing in what you lost.”

Zelgadis nodded, “I will.” He grabbed the cookies and tea and went back to this room, red faced and desperate for sleep. Attie was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking thunderous. He handed her the tea and cookies. 

“I didn’t say I was hungry!” she stated.

“What do you need, then?” he asked.

“To know that you will be here!” she said.

He gently wrapped an arm around her. “I’m here.”

* * *

Zelgadis and Attie were married the week they returned to Saillune City. Zelgadis looked resplendent in his grey guild robes, and Attie glowed in her pale green ones. It was a small, intimate wedding, and Min and Pomona had even managed to put a bit of make up on Attie. And for once, the sense of dread that Zelgadis had been feeling abated. Everything seemed right. At long last he would have a normal life, or as close to one as someone like him could get.

Lina and Gourry bought a cottage on the outskirts of town, and Lina took in assignments from the guild while Gourry, whose health was declining, focused on raising Luke. Pomona went back to the apothecary she was apprenticed to while Min and her husband, Drake, resumed their lives at the royal court. Zelgadis stayed away from the palace. Attie tried not to be jealous, but whenever he mentioned seeing Queen Amelia it left her so unsettled that Zelgadis decided it was for the best to let his first love go and focus on his current one. A note Amelia sent him before his wedding that she understood and was happy for him and would always have a place for him in her heart would be their last bit of correspondence.

Like Lina, Zelgadis also ended up doing research with the guild. With his credentials he was given a generous stipend. It was enough to buy a good house close to Lina and Gourry’s, and Attie liked that, especially as she was having to give up her beloved life on the road. Thankfully she wasn’t breaking ribs or in pain. Her pregnancy was as easy as one could hope for. And given how lethal Lina’s with Dianna had been, they all breathed a collective sigh of relief and hoped that it meant that Corentina would have more control over Shabranigdu than Dianna had.

It created a lot of relief for the Inverse-Gabriev’s, who were worried about losing Attie during labor like they had nearly lost Lina. But for Zelgadis it wasn’t enough relief. To his dismay he found that he could barely tolerate the sight of Attie’s growing stomach. The one time he tried to feel it move he became so agitated that Attie never asked him again. They all kept hoping that once she was born and Zelgadis could see it was an innocent baby and not his great-grandfather that he would be able to move forward. Zelgadis prayed that they were right.

Even though things were going well, Lina had asked Amelia for the most skilled midwife in the realm to tend to Attie, and had been gifted with the services of the Royal Midwife. All too soon, Zelgadis was woken in the middle of the night by Attie telling him to get her mother and to summon the midwife.

Several hours later, Gourry paced nervously in the living room as, from the bedroom, Attie screamed. Zelgadis leaned forward and cradled his head with his hands, trying to block it all out. “I was with Lina during all of her labors.” Gourry said, yet strangely it didn’t sound like a rebuke. “I couldn’t bear not knowing what was going on.”

Zelgadis wringed his hands together. Not knowing was hard, but actually going in there during such a sacred time for women was unthinkable. Gourry continued to blather, and with a jolt Zelgadis realized he’d rarely seen the other man so anxious. “I was even with Di, every time she miscarried. She was a midwife, so it never seemed awkward to her, and she always felt so safe with me. The first time it was weird, but after that I got used to it. Even Min would let me sit with her if she wasn’t being examined and when she wasn’t pushing with her first two. Of course, things were so chaotic when Wally was born…I’ve never just sat outside and waited.”

“Lina, Min, and the Royal Midwife for the Saillune Family is with her.” Zelgadis pointed out. “It’s going to be fine.”

Attie screamed again, and Zelgadis felt as though a knife was being twisted within him. And to his horror he was hoping that there was a way out of this. That they would come out and tell him he had a son, not a daughter. Or that the baby was dead, but Attie made it alive. Or that…

Gourry suddenly broke down into tears, “I killed her.”

“What?” Zelgadis asked.

“I couldn’t protect Lina from this. I didn’t know what to do. And now she’s dying…”

With a jolt Zelgadis realized the dementia that occasionally afflicted the swordsman was acting up, and he was remembering when Dianna had been born and Lina had nearly died. While it made sense that the stress of Attie delivering a child like Dianna would trigger those memories, it left Zelgadis flummoxed as to what to do about it. Fortunately Pomona came into the house then, “Luke is happily settled with Drake.” She announced, her voice fading away as she saw Gourry. “Oh no, what happened?”

“Nothing.” Zelgadis said, “He’s reliving what happened with Dianna.”

Pomona took a deep breath, walked up to her father and grabbed his hands, “Hi Daddy, it’s me.”

Gourry looked at her for a moment, and then asked, “Pomona?”

“Right!” she said, “And Mom is alive and spry as ever.”

He pulled her into a hug, “I love you all.”

“I love you.” She said. “How’s it going in there?”

“Fine as far as I can tell. I think she’s transitioning.” Gourry said. “But she’s not asked for me so it must be going better than Min’s labors.”

“It never ceases to amaze me that all of your other daughters rely on you so much for support, but Attie clings to Lina. I guess Luke does, too.” Zelgadis observed.

“Is it that amazing?” Gourry asked, “Remember, until Pomona was born, Attie had been our youngest for longer than Pomona and Luke have been alive, combined! Lina still thinks of Attie as the baby of the family. Only now that baby of the family has company.”

Attie screamed again, and the room went quiet. “Do you want to see what is happening?” Gourry asked Pomona.

“I don’t want to see anything that will put me off having kids of my own one day.” Pomona said, “Besides, the midwife would chase me out. I’m too young to know the horrors or whatever.”

“I still can’t believe you sat in there with Lina.” Zelgadis said.

Gourry stared at the door as he said quietly, “When I was a boy, I was badly injured after one of my father’s beatings, and my mother went into labor, but I couldn’t be moved. I have many siblings, but that one was special, because I saw her born. And I knew that there was nothing so bad that happened during the birthing process that I couldn’t stomach.”

Pomona held her father’s hand as silence settled in once again. It was jarring whenever Gourry alluded to the fact that he had had such an unhappy childhood. It didn’t seem congruent with the gentle, happy man. But then if Gourry could overcome all of that and be a loving father to his children, then surely there was hope that Zelgadis could overcome his hatred of Rezo and be a loving father to this one. And perhaps, if being in the room when they’re born creates such a bond, then he needed to do everything he could to stack the deck in his favor and go in.

Zel stood up and adjusted his shirt. “I’m going in.”

“Good for you.” Gourry said.

Zelgadis nearly turned back around when Attie screamed again. But he held firm and opened the door and quickly went in. Attie was relaxing against Min, who was supporting her in a kneeling position, while Lina sat beside her and held her hand. The midwife was washing her hands, and she looked at him warily. Attie, meanwhile, smiled, and reached her other hand out for him. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Zelgadis mechanically walked up to her, and the midwife drew close to him and whispered, “Stay by the head, and don’t faint!”

“Right.” Zelgadis said as he reached Attie’s side. “Sorry it took me so long.”

“You made it.” She said as she squeezed his hand and her face scrunched up.

“You should be feeling the urge to push soon.” The midwife said.

Attie nodded, and from the other side Zelgadis saw Lina smiling at him approvingly, and he realized he’d just scored some points with his mother-in-law. Soon his attention was drawn back to Attie, and the fact that he had no idea what to do. Fortunately the women did.

Considering he had seen horrendous injuries on the battlefield and the sickening results of chimera experiments gone wrong, seeing a baby being born wasn’t much worse, and there was a beauty about it that was absent with the first two. And as Corentina came into the world, hands clenched and screaming. Zelgadis felt the breath leave his body as his heart lurched.

Min hugged Attie and kissed her head as she laughed, “You have a beautiful little girl! Just in time for me to start bouncing grandchildren on my knee in a few years!”

“You still have time to have a fourth.” Attie said as tears of happiness streamed down her face as the midwife put the baby on her chest. Attie closed her eyes and held on.

“I’m done.” Min said. “You okay, Mom?”

Lina was trembling slightly with what appeared to be relief. “Attie’s okay, so I’m okay.”

Zelgadis stared, transfixed, at the tiny baby. Surely there must be a mistake. There was no way she could be afflicted! It would still be awhile before dawn and they would know for sure, but for the moment, Zelgadis was prepared to bet odds on the fact that they had been worried for nothing. “She’s beautiful, Attie.” He said as he wrapped and arm around her and squeezed, and Attie burst into a fresh round of happy tears.

The midwife put a towel over the baby and started cleaning her up. “Attie, I’m going to have a look at baby. Just a minute.”

“Let’s get you to the bed.” Min said as she helped Attie to stand up, and Zelgadis watched in amazement over the fact that Attie was actually able to walk so soon after delivering. 

Once Attie was settled in, the midwife came over, looking a little too neutral. “Attie, I’m concerned. Your daughter’s eyes aren’t opening.”

“What?” Attie asked.

The midwife put a hand on her arm, “We’re in Saillune, and with all of the knowledge that Rezo the Red Priest amassed on blindness I’m sure that there’s something that can be done. I’ll send for a specialist immediately. We have a lot of his library here. But as you can see, her eyes won’t open.”

Zelgadis stared in disbelief as he looked at Corentina and noticed how she moved her head from side to side, obviously awake, but with her eyes closed as if asleep, and he felt disgust rise within him. Meanwhile, the midwife continued, “Worst case, there’s many things we can teach her to help her live a full life, even without her sight. She’s in the best possible place she can be. For now, just try to feed her and…”

But Zelgadis felt the bile rise within him, and then he found himself dashing to the bathroom to vomit.


	2. Shame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, this chapter goes to dark places.

“It’s very unusual for a person’s eyes to not even open.” The healer, a woman named Releah, explained with a fascinated air as she studied Corentina. “The only other documented case like this I can think of is Rezo the Red Priest himself. You are descended from him, correct?”

Zelgadis felt his stomach lurch as he nodded. That people commented on his ancestry as something to be proud of and treasured, when the truth was far more repellant, always caused him to feel like he was being deceptive.

“Hm,” Releah mused contemplatively, “Perhaps it’s a family defect.”

Zelgadis’ hands dug into his knees. They knew good and well what it was. The red shadow that Corentina produced when the reveal spell was cast the dawn after she was born confirmed it. But it wasn’t exactly information they wanted to share, so he stayed quiet. 

Attie looked distraught as she sat up in bed, “Years before she was born I had a prophecy about her, and in that prophecy her eyes were open. I could see them, I remember it so well!”

“Perhaps that means that some day it will happen.” Releah said encouragingly, and Attie’s eyes widened in horror, “But I must caution, there’s no record that Rezo the Red Priest ever managed to get his eyes to open. But knowledge has advanced, and new things are found all of the time.”

“No. We’re not going that route. How do we help her live while blind?” Zelgadis asked in a clipped manner, and at Releah’s confused look he added, “I’m not going to waste a lot of time and money chasing after some cure that doesn’t exist.”

Corentina could not follow in Rezo’s footsteps. In Zel’s mind if her eyes were open then it was a sign that she had aligned with him. She was blind, she was just going to have to accept it, and any talk of finding a cure would have to be buried.

“There’s a small school for the blind in Saillune City.” Releah explained, “Since Rezo the Red Priest’s research it’s a lot smaller than it used to be, but there’s still a few children there. I’ll put you in contact with them and she can go there. You can either board her or, since you live close enough, just send her during the day.”

Zelgadis wanted to board her and forget her. But he knew Attie would never agree to that. “Thank you.” Attie said as she cradled Corentina.

“For now, just treat her like any other baby.” Releah advised.

 _But she’s not any other baby._ Zelgadis thought as he got up to show Releah to the door.

* * *

It was a few weeks after Corentina became shortened to Cory that Lina received a letter from her sister that their parents were ill and that she needed to come to Zefiel City if it was possible. Lina had a million reasons to not want to go home. While Zel and Attie had reconciled themselves somewhat to having a child afflicted with Shabranigdu, Cory’s blindness had reset the process, and both were having a hard time coping. Luke was also settling into a new place, and she didn’t want to uproot him again so soon by taking him with her. And even with all of those pragmatic reasons, there was the visceral emotionally one of not wanting to return to the place where her daughter had been murdered and be around the people who had killed her. But she also knew that she would never forgive herself if she didn’t see her parents one last time.

Between Luke and Attie, neither Lina nor Gourry felt comfortable leaving their children, so for the first time since Hellmaster had kidnapped Gourry, Lina found herself traveling without him. It was the day of her parents’ funeral that Lina received a letter from Pomona that she was worried about Attie and for her to come home if at all possible.

When Lina returned to Saillune City, she stopped by Attie and Zel’s home first. She could hear Cory screaming from outside the house. She let herself in, and found Attie sitting on the couch crying as the baby squirmed against her as Attie tried to nurse while Min tried to help. Zelgadis was nowhere to be seen.

“Mom?” Attie asked, and Min looked relieved that she was home.

“Hey,” Lina said, and her eyes widened as she saw Attie’s breasts, which were chapped and bleeding. “Difficulties with feeding?”

“We had it down! You saw how well she was nursing when you left. I don’t know what happened, though. She just won’t latch on and she keeps screaming because she’s so hungry!” Attie explained.

“I keep telling her, sometimes this happens. I have the recipe and supplies for the potion we can make to feed her, but Attie keeps talking nonsense about it making her a failure if she can’t feed her.” Min jumped in.

Lina scooped Cory up as she heard Zel come down the hallway, and grabbed the dropper and dipped it into the potion it looked as though Min had prepared and put it in Cory’s mouth. She quieted instantly with the first drop and sucked it up. Lina refilled the dropper, “Atalanta, we used this potion with Di. Hell, after you were born I was so stressed caring for the three of you I used it for you for the sheer convenience! Like Min did after Wally was born. Motherhood isn’t a suffering contest and you’re not impressing anyone by doing this to yourself.”

Zelgadis hissed as he walked in and saw Attie. “Did she do that to you?” 

“This isn’t so strange.” Lina said as Attie did up her shirt. “Bleeding nipples aren’t uncommon. They create lotions and stuff for it. Anyway, we won’t have to worry about it now, we can just use the potion.”

“But Cory was doing so well until a week ago when it started to get difficult.” Attie replied. “I don’t know why, I’ve just dried up. Nothing seems to work, no matter what I try.”

“It’s normal for a baby to draw blood when she nurses?” Zelgadis shot back.

“It happened with all of mine at some point and time!” Lina retorted. 

“Mine, too.” Min added, “I don’t think you men appreciate all the suffering we go through for these bundles.”

Zelgadis shook his head and walked out. Lina looked at Attie. “Please tell me this is a bad day for him!”

Attie shook her head, “If she cries too much, then she’s doing it to feed off our agony and keep us sleep deprived. Hell, she had a diaper blow out all over him and he was convinced she did it on purpose! If she is anything but happy then it’s the evil Shabranigdu within her.”

Lina stroked Cory’s head, and her granddaughter smiled at her as she opened her mouth for more potion, “Did you blow your diaper out over your daddy? That’s my girl! Damn, perhaps we should have spent some time letting him care for normal babies so he’d have some sort of baseline to compare everything to. In terms of difficulty she seems to rank below Min and Pomona but above you and Luke. I’m surprised, really. I was expecting a hellion like Di!”

Attie bit her lip and started to brush away tears, “This is all starting to feel like a big mistake.”

Min put her hand on her knee. “Hey, it will be okay.”

“She’s four months old! I thought he’d start to bond with her by now. And he goes through the motions and helps with her but just seems so disdainful…”

Lina looked at her for a moment. She looked so disheveled and exhausted. “You know, why don’t I take her home with me for the night, and let you two get some rest? Things will seem better once you’ve gotten some sleep.”

“Zel tried to let me sleep, but I just can’t!” she said, “I just worry about everything!”

“Come on,” Min said as she stood up and pulled Attie up with her, “Let’s get you to your room and then I’ll put you under a sleep spell. Mom will take Cory home and let you get your head clear. Then you’ll feel so much better about everything when you wake up.”

* * *

It was soon after Attie had given up on nursing Cory that they discovered the reason she had dried up: Lina-Juliet Greywards was on her way. And while switching Cory to the potion had caused her to settle down, Attie still did not rally. While Lina tried to explain to Zelgadis that some women just find the transition to motherhood difficult and become depressed, nothing could convince Zelgadis that Cory was innocent, not even the fact that Juliet’s birth caused Attie’s mental state to deteriorate further.

While Zel held Cory responsible for Attie’s initial decline, he was too enamored of Juliet to hold her responsible for the similar one Attie suffered after she was born. Lina and Gourry had never seen Zelgadis so in love as he was with Juliet, and it would have been delightful, if the contrast of his treatment of Cory was not so stark. 

Zelgadis happily woke up with Juliet during the night. Everyone agreed that it was important for Attie to get some good rest every night, and Zel had never felt the need for much sleep. One night, as he gently lowered Juliet into her crib, he took a moment to gaze at her. Unlike her sister, she more closely resembled the Gabriev template. Cory looked alarmingly like Rezo, especially her facial expressions. Whether it was a genuine resemblance or if it came from the fact that she made all of those expressions with her eyes closed like Rezo, he wasn’t sure. Whatever it was, she looked too much like him for his liking.

Zel sighed as he gazed at Juliet and directed his thoughts back to her, relishing in her perfection. At long last, he had had the child he had waited so long for!

And then he would remember that he’d had Cory first, and the guilt would start. No matter how he tried, that love that flowed so easily for Juliet was stagnant with Cory. She simply wasn’t a pleasant child. But then given what was in her soul, how could he expect her to be? He sighed as he gave Juliet one last caress and then tiptoed out of her room. As he made his way down the hallway, he could hear Cory in her room, singing a stream of nonsense syllables to herself, followed by whacking sounds.

Irritation flowed through him as he opened the door and saw her sitting in her crib and whacking her arms and legs against the sides, “Cut it out, Cory, before you break the crib!” he admonished.

“Daddy!” she said as she stood up and reached for him.

“You’re big enough to sleep through the night.” He said, irritated that she was manipulating him now by attempting to be cute, “Go back to bed, and I don’t want to hear you hitting your crib again!”

He closed the door behind him and sighed irritably as he walked back to his bedroom. He slowly opened the door, doing his best to not disturb Attie. He didn’t need to worry. The sleep spell they had to use did its job. He kept hoping that some day the light would come back on with her, but it seemed as though something inside of her died the day that Corentina was born. And as the months dragged on, he got tired of waiting for her to snap out of it like people kept saying she would. 

It took some work to get the light lit again. Word got around that they were looking for a female bodyguard and trail runner to escort a young noblewomen through her diplomatic engagements. As soon as Lina and Gourry heard, they approached Zelgadis about it. Gourry could watch the girls while he worked, allowing Attie to be gone for a week at a time once a month or so. While they worried about sending her from her family, something needed to change, and Zel agreed to give it a try.

Attie was reluctant at first, wondering what sort of mother it would make her. But Lina pointed out that working one week a month was a schedule many people would envy, and it would still give her plenty of time to be with her children. With Amelia’s help she secured the position and when Attie returned from her first mission, she seemed more like herself than she had been since Cory’s birth, and better able to care for her children when she was home. They breathed a sigh of relief as her depression continued to lift and she started to see the joy in life again.

One day, when the girls were toddlers, Zel and Attie sat on the couch talking as the children chased each other, squealing with laughter. Cory tripped often, but was a good sport about picking herself up and dusting herself off. But then she careened into Juliet, and the two fell down to the ground.

“What the hell are you doing?” Zel yelled as he grabbed Cory and smacked her. 

Attie sat up on the couch, “What are you doing? It was an accident!”

“It was deliberate! And don’t undermine me in front of them!” he yelled.

“Kids rough house! They were chasing each other and laughing! It’s not like Cory can see her. And Juliet’s not even crying!”

“Of course it was deliberate! How can you forget the evil within her? She doesn’t need you making excuses for her when she’s bad!” Attie was getting even more angry, but he didn’t care. While she and her family tried to sugar coat the truth to Cory by saying that while there was a bad man in her, that she was good and stronger than him, Zelgadis told it like it was, and no amount of tongue flapping from Attie would convince him to stop. “Cory pushed her, and she knew what she was doing.”

“It’s okay, Mommy.” Cory said solemnly while Juliet started to cry, “Daddy can hit me harder if you think I need to learn my lesson.” 

Zelgadis froze. Was she serious? Or was she trying to guilt trip him? His hands clenched as Attie moved to scoop Cory and then Juliet up. “It’s getting late. I’m going to put them to bed.”

Zelgadis sat back on the couch, completely bewildered by what had happened. When Attie came out after putting them to sleep, her lips were drawn tight. Quietly he asked, “Did Di pull stunts like that get out of trouble?”

Attie shook her head and folded her arms under her breasts, obviously still furious with him, “No. Di hit back harder.”

* * *

When Cory turned five the time came to send her to school. The family was worried about the rage that had led Dianna to attack other children, even though Cory was a surprisingly calm child, even by normal standards. She’d never attacked Juliet and seldom even threw the tantrums that toddlers are prone to throwing. Zelgadis didn’t relax like the others did, though. He was convinced she was luring them into a false sense of security by being so agreeable. The others might have forgotten just how manipulative Dianna and Rezo had been, but he hadn’t!

The first day of school went off without a hitch. And as the weeks drew by, Cory settled in well and her teachers were extremely laudatory. While the Inverse-Gabriev’s breathed a sigh of relief, Zelgadis got frustrated with how everyone let their guard down and so easily allowed themselves to be complacent. He would not make the mistake of forgetting for one moment what she really was. He merely thanked his lucky stars that he was so objective that he could see Cory for what she really was, even if no one else could.

* * *

“Six years ago, a young girl set out on a quest to save her father’s life.” Queen Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune began as she addressed the crowded ballroom, “When her father started to lose his memory, Pomona Gabriev apprenticed herself to the best apothecary she could find in an attempt to restore and cure him. With intense focus, dedication and love, she found a way to not just halt the damage but reverse it, therefore not only improving her father’s quality of life, but the lives of countless of other people entering old age. Which is why tonight, I am honored to bestow upon Pomona the honor of Saillune’s prestigious Hujin Award for Medical Research.”

Everyone clapped as Pomona got up to accept the medal that Amelia placed round her neck. Zelgadis held Juliet on his lap as he listened to the speech. She squirmed and fidgeted, but she was four and bored. Beside him Attie leaned over to whisper, “Do you see Pomona’s bracelet? It looks like Forest proposed!”

“Wait till they make an announcement.” He replied as, from Attie’s other side, Cory leaned against her mother companionably. At least she wasn’t drawing attention to herself.

At the reception, Zelgadis held Cory and Juliet’s hands as Attie went and hugged her sister. “Well done! I think you’re one of the youngest people to win this award.”

“I had a lot of help.” Pomona said modestly. “Really, Dad being back to himself is the best reward. All of this is just icing.”

“Look, there’s a harp!” Juliet said as she pointed at the instrument.

“Can I play?” Cory asked.

Zelgadis figured it would be a way to keep Cory occupied. “I’ll walk you over.”

It was curious. Rezo could move around so well without help, almost as though he could see. But Cory needed someone to guide her or to use her cane. He helped Cory sit by the harp and adjust it, and then stood back as she started to play. He knew she’d be gentle with it at the least. The school she was attending offered music lessons and she’d been drawn to the instrument. But when she started to play an old folk song that he and Attie were fond of singing, Zelgadis felt his jaw drop.

People stopped talking, and then they started to crowd around in amazement. Zelgadis was stunned himself. He’d heard reports from the school that she was gifted, but he’d just assumed they were trying to make him feel better about having a blind child. 

“Attie!” he heard Lina say as she came up to them, “Why didn’t you tell us she could do that?”

“I didn’t know.” Attie replied.

“Are you her father?” another man asked Zelgadis.

“Yes,” Zelgadis said.

The man handed him a card, “I’m Arthur Marx, the Head of the Saillune Musicians Guild, and I personally train the court musicians. And we would be very interested in training her. What’s her name?”

Zelgadis felt dazed, and in the spotlight. For the first time since Cory was born he felt a surge of pride over being her father. It quickly evaporated as Cory hit an F when she should have hit a G. “Really? That would be wonderful. Her name is Corentina Greywards.”

“I’ve never seen anyone so young take to the instrument like that. Just with her size it’s extraordinary.”

“She’s also blind.” Zelgadis stated, worried that Arthur would change his mind.

“Well, that likely helps her focus on the music more, not having various visual things to distract her.” He said with a laugh. 

When Cory finished everyone applauded, causing Zelgadis to shudder irritably as Arthur Marx walked over to her. “That was very good, young lady. How would you like to play for Queen Amelia one day?”

“I would like that very much.”

“I’ll be in contact with your father then.”

“Thank you, sir.”

As soon as Arthur left, Zelgadis moved towards her and snapped loudly enough for everyone to hear, “You missed thirteen notes! Now play it again until you get it right!”

If Cory was hurt, she gave no sign of it. She merely nodded, “You’re right, Daddy. I’ll do better next time.”

Something about the way she just stoically agreed with and accepted it every time he dressed her down irritated him. He’d feel better if she fought him. People whispered, and he heard one person say just loud enough for him to hear that he had been an ass as Cory started to play again. But before he could do anything, Attie was grabbed his arm. He turned and found that she looked livid, and behind her Gourry seemed to be holding Lina back. “Zel, a word!” Attie said menancingly.

* * *

As soon as they left the banquet room and got a bit down the hallway, Attie turned around and smacked him. “What the…”

She then smacked him again, “Mom would want to send you that one. Hell, I think even my father would say you deserve it!”

“What’s your problem!?” he asked as she smacked him again.

“How could you tear her down like that in front of everyone!?” she replied, fire in her eyes.

“Well how is she going to learn if we coddle her and don’t tell her what she’s doing wrong?” he argued.

“She’s five!” Attie insisted. “And she was playing better than many adults!”

“The conductor for Saillune’s music guild was there and interested in her!” Zelgadis explained. “I had to show him we’re serious about this.”

Attie looked at him as though he had sprouted an extra head. “If he was already interested her based on what she could do, why do you have to push her to do better?”

“Because you never settle! You have to keep pushing yourself, every weakness must be systemically eliminated and you have to constantly practice!” he said exasperatedly. 

Attie shook her head, “Where did you learn that?”

Zelgadis’ started to answer, and then he stopped. He shook his head, “Well, even a broken clock is right twice a day.”

Attie shook her head, “Ever since I’ve known you, all you have talked about is how much you hate Rezo and how horrible he was to you. Don’t you dare use his methods and then defend them!”

“Look, Rezo was horrible, but I became an exceptional swordsman and sorcerer because of how he trained me. And when she does it perfectly, I will praise her. For Rezo nothing was good enough. But she has to earn it, Attie!”

“Cory has to earn it while you praise the ground Juliet stands on because she blessed it with her presence.” Attie retorted as she wrapped her arms around herself, and as she turned around she asked, “Have you ever considered that you may have been an even better swordsman if Rezo had praised you along the way? As good as you are, my dad can still wipe the floor with you.”

Zelgadis stared after her as she walked back into the ballroom at a loss for words.

* * *

Zelgadis stiffened when Gourry found him at the pub. He braced himself for a reprimand, and even wondered if Gourry would deliver that punch that Attie said he deserved. Instead he said, “Lina and I will take the girls tonight. Attie is rather upset.”

“I still don’t see how what I did was so bad.” Zelgadis said, “All I did was point out what she had done wrong.”

“When was the last time you gave Cory a kind word?”

“The last time that she earned one!” Zelgadis insisted. “Look, I take care of her. I provide for her. She has three meals, her own room, and I kiss her before she goes to bed and spend more time with her than most fathers do with their kids. But I’m not going to forget what she is for a moment or let my guard down. I have to be hard on her or she will lose her way!”

Gourry sighed. “You’re a good man. And I believe that you believe that and don’t see the damage you are doing. But to someone on the outside you are being incredibly cruel to her.”

“Spoiling her won’t get her anywhere!” Zelgadis said. “I know your father was hard on you, that’s how you got to be so good.”

“My father didn’t teach me to use the sword.” Gourry replied. “And I got to be good in spite of him, not because of him. The people who trained me saw how I was hurting and gave me encouragement, helped me to feel good about myself. They didn’t tear me down.”

“Or perhaps you were just so good they never had a reason to. Ever consider that?”

Gourry shook his head. “Perhaps we’re all spoiling Cory, then. But if nothing else, you spoiling Cory would make Attie happy. After that debut you could have gone out for ice cream to celebrate, had a good time with your family rather than spend your evening alone in a bar only to come home to sleep on the couch.”

“And what about down the line when she loses control and destroys the world?”

“Cory doesn’t have the rage that Di did. Cory doesn’t even seem to have the rage that a typical person does. I’ve never seen her get angry. At first I was relieved, but now it bothers me, that perhaps she doesn’t feel safe saying she’s angry.”

“Why would that be bothersome?”

“Because she won’t know what to do when she explodes. And keeping her on tenderhooks about every mistake she makes won’t help her. If she doesn’t feel safe coming to you when she’s angry, she won’t seek help when she needs it.”

“You sound like you’re reaching.”

“Damn it, Zel.” Gourry said, exasperation defining his voice, “If you can’t find it in your heart to give Cory a break for Cory, then do it for Attie.”

* * *

As Lina got breakfast ready for Cory and Juliet the next morning she mused at how they could relax with Cory in a manner that they never could with Dianna. While they had had to protect Min and Attie from Dianna’s rage, Cory seldom got mad, and when she did, she tended to run to her room. She had certainly never hurt Juliet. It seemed as though Dianna’s influence went further than just protecting Attie during her pregnancy, she was also helping Cory to control her temper.

Lina placed the pancakes on the table and filled the girl’s plates, delighting in having them to herself. Gourry and Luke had gone out for an early morning run so they would have enough time to get it in before Luke went to school.

“Grandma, what’s a flower girl?” Cory asked as she ate.

“A flower girl gets to wear a pretty dress and throw flower petals before the bride.” Lina explained.

“Oh. Aunt Pomona says that Juliet and I can be her flower girls.”

Lina smiled a little. Pomona had ended her big night with the announcement that she was engaged, and looked to be wasting no time in planning a wedding so grand that it would likely rival Min’s. “But if I have to walk in front of the bride, what will happen if I get lost?” Cory asked.

“It’s just down an aisle.” Lina said, “We’ll walk it a few times before the wedding so you get it.”

“Rezo could hear so well and sense life energy that he could move as though he could see.” Cory stated, and Lina nearly dropped her frying pan.

“How do you know any of that?” Lina asked.

“They talk to me. But Aunt Di says I shouldn’t let Daddy know that.”

Lina turned the oven off and sat down at the table. “What else does Aunt Di say?”

“That she’s with me, and that they’re keeping him from me.”

Lina closed her eyes. “Can you tell Di I miss her?”

“She knows.” Cory smirked. “Luke is bragging that you named your only son after him.”

Lina folded her arms across her chest and blinked back tears. “Tell him it’s a coincidence. I always liked the name Luke.”

“Sure you did.” Cory replied as she drank her milk. 

Lina reached forward and stroked her strawberry blond hair. “You are a treasure, you know.”

“Not really.” Cory replied. “I have someone very bad inside of me.”

“You also have a lot of good people who fought him inside of you.” Lina countered.

“It’s like Daddy says.” Cory said stoically and with a deliberateness that chilled Lina, “I can’t ever forget the bad.”

* * *

“Cory,” Zelgadis said once Lina and Gourry had brought her home. “I want to let you know that I’m proud that you’re the youngest person to join the Saillune City Music Guild.”

Zelgadis wasn’t convinced that it was for the best. But Attie had one foot out the door and he had to do something to keep them. So he did his best to set his qualms aside. And it wasn’t as if it was a lie. Cory’s accomplishment was something he was proud of. Cory smiled and beamed in a way that he had never seen before, “Thank you, Daddy.”

Meanwhile, Attie looked at him as though he was still on probation. Fortunately, music was the means by which Zelgadis finally started to feel some closeness with Cory. While he tried to be mindful that she needed praise, her perfectionist streak complimented his, and if he ever tried to praise her for something that was less than perfect, she would break down into tears over how she didn’t deserve it. If Attie ever got onto him for being too hard on her, Cory would defend him and insist that he had every right to be so hard and she needed to do better. Zelgadis wasn’t sure if she was genuine or if she was manipulating him into feeling sorry for her. But she would play until her fingers would blister and bleed and he would tell her to take a break, and then he would have to get onto her for disobeying him when she snuck down to play some more.

Music was a way to completely untangle Cory from Rezo. Rezo was so focused on finding his cure that anything that didn’t help in that pursuit was cut, and when Rezo had found him taking lessons from one of his minions, Rezo had quickly put a stop to the distraction. And as she got older, other things started to define her apart from Rezo.

That she was obviously handicapped was one of them. Unlike Rezo, who always seemed to move around easily and, even more mystifying, could read, Cory used a cane and relied on others to read aloud to her. Yet while her world was more confined than Rezo’s seemed to be, Zel could only recall one time that he heard Cory lament about it.

She was ten when Zelgadis walked into the room and heard Juliet say, “You really shouldn’t wear purple. It doesn’t flatter you at all. And why are you wearing long sleeves in the summer? It’s so hot!”

“Well I’m cold! And I just have to trust other people to find colors for me since I can’t do it myself.” Cory replied. “I don’t see what it really matters though.”

“If you could see colors, you’d understand.” Juliet lectured. “We’re going to have to do something about this. You can’t play in the court wearing mismatched clothing.”

“What are colors like?” Cory asked, “People talk about them as though they are so beautiful. Which also makes me wonder, what is it like to see beauty and not to hear it? Sometimes I think it would be nice to know, but…”

Zelgadis felt something snapped within him as a red haze descended as he crossed the room, and all he could think of was all of the pain that Rezo had caused with his search for his cure as he grabbed Cory and smacked her. “What did I tell you about talking about a cure?” He asked as he tightened his grip on her arm with one hand while he raised his hand to hit her again.

“We weren’t talking about a cure!” Juliet shot back.

“Don’t you dare back talk! It all starts with moping over what you can't do! Do you know how often Rezo...” he yelled as he let Cory go and turned towards his younger daughter, who recoiled. She was so petted she wasn’t used to bearing the brunt of his anger.

“It’s not Juliet’s fault.” Cory said as she put a hand to her cheek. “You can punish me, I’m the one who deserves it.”

Zelgadis reddened as Juliet maintained, “Cory didn’t do anything wrong! Neither did I!”

“You’re arguing with me, and that’s wrong! Cory’s bad!” Zelgadis said as he grabbed Juliet and shook her, hoping it would land some sense into her, “The embodiment of evil is in her and it is insidious! And if you aren’t more cautious she will destroy you! She’s corrupting you!”

Juliet started to cry as Cory reached forward and put a hand on her arm, “Please let her go! Punish me for being bad but leave her alone.”

Zelgadis nearly backhanded her, but managed to restrain himself. “To your rooms. Both of you! And I don’t want to ever hear you crying over what you can’t see again, ever!” he barked.

Juliet ran as fast as she could. Cory slowly walked towards the hallway and then turned around and said, “It’s okay, Daddy. I understand how he hurt you.”

Zelgadis sat on the couch as she walked away, too stunned and confused to know what to think.

* * *

Soon, Cory was so busy keeping up with practices, concerts and performances that she wasn’t home as often to upset Zelgadis. And given that she was getting older, no one thought it was inappropriate that she was out of the house more. Juliet was also gone more, busy with trainings that would take her into the traditional family business of sorcery. Fortunately both girls were talented in different ways, so Juliet wasn’t too jealous of the renown that Cory drew and vice versa. 

Meanwhile, Lina and Gourry became empty nesters for the second time in their life as Luke moved out and set up shop. Like Pomona, he took a more tangential career path, combining the practical knowledge of sorcery with swordplay to develop weaponry that could fell Mazoku with his friend, Stella. Their work was promising enough to receive funding from the royal family.

Things seemed to settle and calm. Everyone had found their place and was exceling at their various obligations, and Zelgadis had found a contentedness with life that he seldom enjoyed. So the day when it all fell apart he could not have been less prepared.

“Attie!” Luke cried as he ran up to them, somehow having found them in the crowded marketplace, and from the look on his face, Zelgadis could see that it was serious. “It’s Dad.”

“What?” Attie asked.

“He was visiting me in the armory, and he had a stroke.”

Attie’s face lost its color, and Zelgadis put a hand on her arm as Luke continued, “He’s home. Mom and Pomona as well as a healer are there.”

“I’m coming.”

“I’ll get the girls.” Zelgadis said, and he decided to head home first because it would be faster. Cory was there. Juliet was staying with some friends. 

Cory wasn’t in the living room when he got home, and he quickly dashed up the stairs. He could hear her in her room. Without bothering to knock he opened it, wondering as he did what Cory had done now and why she was telling herself that she was bad. He froze when he saw her, and so did she. Her long sleeves were rolled up and a trail of blood formed a small red line on her arm following the path where her knife had been drawn across it from her other hand. She dropped it and it fell to the floor with a deafening clatter.

And as if the blood pouring from the cut wasn’t bad enough, her arms were covered with a network of scars in various stages of healing. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“What I do whenever I think something bad.” She replied chillingly. “It’s like you always say. I can’t let my guard down.”


	3. Love

Nothing that Zelgadis had ever seen in his travels could have prepared him for this. He had been so overconfident that he had seen everything and would know what to do in any situation. But what Cory was doing left him at a loss, especially because he couldn’t figure out why she was doing it. His usual explanation, that she was attempting to manipulate him and make him feel guilty, didn’t hold water. She hadn’t expected anyone to return to the house for hours, and she was mad that he had found out. Further, judging by the amount of scarring on her arms, she had been doing this for some time. How long ago had she started wearing long sleeves year round? Two years? No, this was meant to be kept a secret. Buy why?

 

And how could they have not known?

 

Juliet kept peppering him with nervous questions about what was happening to Gourry while Cory walked silently beside him as they made their way to Lina and Gourry’s house, her expression cloudy. Zel wondered how to even break the news. Cory needed help, but it would also take away resources that Gourry needed. With a sigh he thought that the timing couldn’t be worse. Right now, they really needed Gourry. Telling everyone that Cory was cutting herself after Gourry had fallen ill just seemed too cruel.

 

When they reached the cottage, the door flew open and Luke came out. “We’re glad you’re here. We think he’s asking for Cory.”

 

“He’s alive!” Juliet exclaimed.

 

“You think? How can you not know for sure?” Zelgadis asked while Cory looked at Luke in surprise.

 

“He’s paralyzed on the left side and can’t talk well.” Luke explained.

 

“But why does he want to talk to me?” Cory asked.

 

Zelgadis grabbed her gently by the arm, and guided her into the house and straight into the bedroom. Gourry was lying on the bed, and Lina sat beside him, looking tired but relieved. Somehow they had managed to cram the entirety of their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren into their room. When Gourry saw Cory, he beckoned her to come closer, and said something that didn’t make any sense.

 

The crowd shifted to allow her a path to get close to his bed, and it was easy for her to follow it. When Cory approached him she gave him a hug, which he took a moment to return, looking pained as he did so. And then he pulled away and rolled up the sleeve of her shirt and pointed at her scars. Several people close enough to see gasped. Gourry then pointed at a scar by her elbow, and said something else.

 

Zelgadis looked at Lina and asked, “Do you think he was talking with Di?”

 

“Of course he was talking to Di!” Lina snapped, “But what happened to her arm?”

 

“She’s been cutting herself.” Zelgadis said, feeling bad that she was being outed in front of everyone. Cory broke down into tears as he continued, “I caught her when I went to get her.”

 

“What?” Attie exclaimed as she moved to get closer to Cory.

 

Gourry said something indecipherable, and pointed at a spot just below Cory’s elbow. “Let me go!” she screamed as she pulled her arm back.

 

“Is that…” Min said as she grabbed Cory’s arm, and then she paled.

 

Zelgadis couldn’t get a good look, but he saw Attie draw closer. “Are those runes?”

 

“Mom, Pomona, join us in the guest room please.” Min said as she and Attie dragged Cory towards the door.

 

Zelgadis got there first, and joined them as they entered the guest room. Min closed the door and cast a light spell, “What is this?” she asked.

 

“I don’t know!” Cory sobbed.

 

Zelgadis got closer and inhaled. He wondered how he hadn’t noticed the parallel lines that circled her arms and the dark runes etched into the skin. And included among those runes was Ruby Eye Shabranigdu’s symbol. “Is that a way to summon him?” he asked.

 

“I’ve never seen anything like this.” Lina said, stunned, “Never read of anything like this.”

 

“You were trying to summon him?” Zelgadis yelled.

 

“No!” Cory said, “I would never!”

 

“Then how did those marks get on your arm? What are they doing there?”

 

Attie put a hand on his arm, “This would be hard for anyone to do, but someone who is blind?”

 

Zelgadis felt his thoughts stop for a moment, but then he said, “So you’re saying someone else is coming in and carving on her? Attie I saw her doing this!”

 

“I was just slashing!” Cory said. “I didn’t know I was making runes.”

 

“What a load of…”

 

“Cory,” Lina said commandingly, “Once you told me a little bit about how Rezo was able to navigate around so well even though he was blind.”

 

Zelgadis twitched, “She talks to Rezo?”

 

Attie stepped on his foot. Cory wiped the tears from her eyes, “If he aligned with Shabranigdu’s will, he could get a taste of what vision was like by his other senses being heightened. He could see through sound sort of.”

 

“So you’re aligning with him.” Zelgadis said.

 

“No! I never would!” Cory said.

 

“Stop lying, the evidence is all over your arms.”

 

“I don’t want to be bad.” Cory said as she cried.

 

Attie moved towards her and hugged her, and gently sat down with her on the bed. “You aren’t. We’re going to find out what’s going on. But Pomona, is there a potion you can use to get rid of the scars?”

 

Pomona, who looked exhausted, rubbed a hand on her swollen belly, and Zelgadis felt another surge of anger at Cory for bringing more stress to her. She had suffered a couple of miscarriages, and while she had celebrated reaching the eight month mark, she was still having problems with hemorrhaging and was supposed to be resting as much as possible. She didn’t need to deal with this. “I worry that anything I give her would only heal at the surface level, leaving the scars there lurking beneath.”

 

“Damn,” Lina said. “So we’re going to have to destroy them the unsavory way.”

 

“What?” Cory cried.

 

“We’ll put you under a sleep spell. You won’t feel a thing. And then we’ll use a potion to cover the damage.” Lina explained.

 

“I have a book I need to get from the palace, so we know the best way to disrupt the pattern.” Min said. “Pomona, why don’t I walk you home? You need to rest.”

 

“I just hate to leave when so much is happening.”

 

“Your dad will be fine.” Lina said firmly, “And we will care for Cory.”

 

“Come on.” Min said as she gently grabbed Pomona’s arm, and they walked out together.

 

Lina sat down on the bed beside Cory and said to Zelgadis, “Why don’t you take Juliet home?”

 

“What?” he exclaimed.

 

“We need to talk to Cory, find out what is happening.” Lina said steadily. “And I don’t think she’s going to be comfortable enough being honest with you in the room.”

 

“With the way you two would baby her someone needs to be here…”

 

“Look, I get it, none of this came naturally to me either.” Lina snapped. “But if you fight fire with fire with a human who holds him in her soul, then you just drive her to him. We’re about to see how well those years of watching Gourry do it has paid off for Attie and me. You, meanwhile, need to leave.”

 

“I have a right to be here!” Zelgadis insisted.

 

“It’s my house, and I have a right to ask you to leave.” Lina maintained.

 

“And she’s my daughter, and I can take her with me.”

 

“She’s my daughter, too.” Attie snapped, “And Mom’s right, Zel. You’d just make it worse.”

 

“Attie…” Zel said, his voice dangerously low.

 

Lina stood up, “I’ve had a shitty day, and I don’t have a lot of patience left, and what I do have I need for my granddaughter. And that’s your last warning.”

 

Zelgadis’ clenched his hands into fists. Age had not weakened Lina one bit, and he had no question that if he tried to leave with Cory he would regret it. “Fine. I’ll take Juliet home. But we will talk about this later. And I will question Cory later.”

 

And then he stormed out.

 

* * *

 

Attie got home just as the sun set, and as soon as she walked in the door without Cory Zelgadis rounded on her, “Where is she?”

 

“Sleeping at her grandparents. She has scars, everywhere. Her arms, her stomach. Somehow on her back and legs. All self-inflicted. With runes and his symbol. The work we did neutralizing them was extensive and she needed to rest.”

 

“Damn.” Zelgadis whispered as, rather than staying in the living room, Attie continue to walk determinedly to the kitchen. “And what about her plans to destroy the world?”

 

Zelgadis followed her and watched as she grabbed a bottle of whiskey and poured herself a glass. She took a long drink, sat it down, and stared out the window as she said, “What plan? She says she black outs when she cuts herself. I believe her.”

 

“You’re a fool.” He said contemptuously.

 

Attie filled her glass and took another drink, “We learned what emotions triggers her. It’s shame.”

 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Zelgadis asked.

 

“Because it’s how he gains power over her! When she’s lashing out at herself! It’s why we never see the rage, she holds it in until she can take it out on herself!” Attie yelled as she turned towards him. “She hates herself for not being perfect, for being a reminder of all the hurt you suffered. It’s easy to forget she’s an empath, she senses how much you loath her, feeds off of it even as it destroys her. That’s why she doesn’t have to feed off of other’s pain, she gets her diet solely by being around you, even if it’s poisoning her.”

 

Zelgadis reddened, “Well what do you expect me to do about it?

 

Attie squeezed her eyes shut, “Nothing. It was wrong of me to expect better of you. The pain was just too great for you to ever overcome. I thought, given what people on Dad’s side of the family worked through that you could, but he told me once, they were the exceptions.”

 

“I’ve supported her! I’ve praised her and…”

 

“You still don’t see what you’re doing.” Attie said as she started to wipe her eyes, “And I did, and I let her stay with you. And that's my fault. You and Juliet are so close and you are such a good father to her, and I hated the thought of separating you two…”

 

“Attie!” he whispered.

 

“But Cory sees how differently you treat them, and it just creates more shame. She so wants what you have with Juliet and torments herself for not being good enough. And I’ve let this go on long enough. I can’t anymore. You can’t stay here tonight, I don’t care where you go, but when you come back in the morning Juliet and I will be gone. I go back and forth between which would be worse, allowing you to visit Juliet and tormenting Cory with the knowledge that you still have a relationship with her that she will never have with you, or forbidding Juliet from seeing you, and hurting her.”

 

Zelgadis took a step back and stumbled onto the table, and grasped the edge. “Attie, let’s not make any rash decisions.”

 

“Until tonight I would have said I still love you. But now I’m so mad at you for making me choose between their welfare I can barely stand to look at you! And now you better get out, before I say something I truly regret!”

* * *

 

With nowhere else to go (he was scared of the frosty reception he would be greeted with with any of the Inverse-Gabriev’s), he headed to the pub with the intent of drinking until he didn’t care. He hadn’t gotten very far when someone said, “Hey stranger, mind if I have a seat?”

 

Zelgadis was prepared to send anyone who asked away. But he wasn’t prepared for the person who asked to be Amelia. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I heard Mr. Gourry had fallen ill, so I went to visit him, and decided to stop here on my way back.” Amelia explained as she sat down, “The barkeep is a friend of mine.”

 

Zelgadis noticed that she was still wearing her mourning garb, even though it had been over a year now since she was widowed. Strange. There had been a time when he’d yearned for the day when her husband would die so he could mend her heart and marry her. And given that Attie was leaving him, there was nothing to stop them. For the first time since he had been cured, he and Amelia were both free to be with each other.

 

But the inclination was not there. He wanted his family back.

 

“How is Gourry?”

 

“He was sleeping when I arrived. Miss Lina seemed rather shaken, though I guess that’s to be expected. I’m hopeful, based on what she told me about what the healer said. I will send the Royal Physician over tomorrow to tend to him, offered them any assistance that they need.”

 

“I know they’ll appreciate that.”

 

“We owe them a debt that can never be repaid.” Amelia said, and then she looked at him, “You look troubled. Is it Mr. Gourry?”

 

It was all he could do from crying. “No. I’m not sure if I messed up badly or if everyone else is blind and taking it out on me anymore.”

 

“Oh,” Amelia said, “Well, that doesn’t explain much.”

 

“Cory is…troubled. I don’t want to get into it.”

 

“I never realized. She always seems happy when she’s performing. She’s incredibly talented.”

 

Zelgadis squeezed his drink. “What do you think of Cory?

 

Amelia thought for a moment, “She reminds me of you. She’s very driven and uncompromising. But nicer.”

 

Zelgadis nearly snapped that she didn’t know the truth. And then it hit him. If he didn’t know that Cory was cursed, would he have ever suspected? When he’d met Dianna he’d realized quickly that there was something sinister beneath the surface. But if there was something malevolent about Cory, wouldn’t Amelia, a trained priestess, sense it? “You don’t think there’s anything bad about her?”

 

Amelia looked surprised. “I sense she’s a good person, but that she’s caught up in some evil. Like Miss Lina was back in the day. Why?”

 

Zelgadis stopped cold. How could Amelia not sense the evil within Cory? It just didn’t seem possible that Cory was that manipulative and so good at masking her true nature that Amelia wouldn’t sense it. The implications were shattering. And if Amelia didn’t know what lurked within Cory, could it be that if he hadn’t had known, he would have seen something different in her? Perhaps, the same things that everyone else saw?

 

For some reason, he thought about Pomona, struggling to carry a child to term just like Dianna had. Yet Pomona did not have a shard of Shabranigdu within her, and bad things had happened to her. Everything bad that happened around Cory he attributed to Shabranigdu. Yet what if some things would have happened regardless? Such as Attie suffering from the blues after she was born. Attie had always valued her freedom and loved to travel, so it would be natural to think that having a baby would have been difficult for her. And while he would never know for sure what caused her depression, he never once gave Cory the benefit of the doubt.

 

Zelgadis fumbled to explain without tipping the truth to Amelia. “I guess, since she was blind like Rezo, all I could ever see was what was wrong with her. I thought she needed it so she wouldn’t be like him. But now I’m questioning everything.”

 

“But Rezo was bad because of Shabranigdu, not because he was blind.” Amelia said, and Zelgadis hoped she didn’t notice as he stiffened. “You just need to start focusing on what is good about her.”

 

“And how do I do that, Miss Sunbeam?”

 

“Just write a list!” Amelia said knowingly, “Make yourself write five things you like about her every day! And then read it to yourself. It will sink in. Trust me!”

 

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.” He snapped.

 

“What do you have to lose by trying?” she asked chipperly.

 

He stared morosely into his drink, “Nothing.”

 

She stood up and patted him on the shoulder, “You’d better get to writing.”

* * *

 

 

Zelgadis did not sleep that night. He spent the evening in an inn, feverishly writing everything he could think of that he liked about Cory. When dawn broke, he felt a change within him. He speedily checked out and raced to his house, hoping to catch Attie before she left. He froze when he walked into his living room and saw that not only was Attie there, but her aunt, Luna was there as well, along with a young man that Zel did not recognize. Attie looked tired, disheveled and hung over. Luna was as formidable and composed as ever as she stated, “Welcome home. Take a seat.”

 

Any outrage that Zel felt about being told what to do in his own house was put to the back burner. One did not cross Luna. He looked at Attie, and judging by the way she was glaring at him he decided sitting on the couch beside her would not be a wise idea, so he moved to a chair across from Luna and to Attie’s left as Luna asked, “You remember Charlie?”

 

“Charlie?” Zelgadis repeated as he considered the lad, who had a shard of Shabranigdu within his soul. The last time he had seen him Charlie was a little boy. “He’s grown.”

 

Luna quickly got to the point, “Dianna has been warning him about Cory.”

 

“What do you mean?” Zelgadis asked.

 

“It seems that she also tried to warn my brother-in-law, but given his state right now he couldn’t convey the full horror of it.” Luna said.

 

“Cory is teetering on the edge.” Charlie explained. “Shabranigdu realized he can’t operate the way that he usually does with Cory because you would be aware of it and can protect against it, so he’s trying a different route to get her to merge with him. By turning her rage inward instead of outward, and telling herself that if she can’t be perfect, then she may as well die. And if she decides on that, then she will merge with him to take as many people with her as she can.”

 

“Tell him why we weren’t warned until now.” Attie said vehemently.

 

“Shabringdu had to hide what he was doing so that Dianna wouldn’t know, so he had to hide it from Cory’s consciousness. She would black out while cutting herself and he would carve those symbols, slowly at first. It took awhile, it was real hard for him to control her without her permission, but by carving them he increased his power over her. Dianna only recently put together what was happening.”

 

“I told you!” Attie said vindictively.

 

Charlie’s words chilled Zelgadis, and Attie’s cut him. “What do I need to do?”

 

“You’ve done enough!” Attie said. “All you need to do now is to leave us alone.”

 

Zelgadis squeezed his fist. “I’ve been part of the problem, so now I have to be the solution. Me walking out of her life could be what sets her over the edge if she thinks I’ve given up on her.”

 

“It has to be more than that, Zel.” Attie said, “You can’t just do this because you don’t want her to merge with him. You have to do this because you love her and want to have a good relationship with her. She’s an empath. We forget that, but she can sense it when you aren’t sincere and feel disgust. It’s asking too much of you….”

 

Zelgadis took the list from his pocket and slammed it down on the table in front of her. “I know that! I’m serious about this.”

 

Attie looked over the list, “What’s this?”

 

“It’s a list of what I like about her. Writing it changed something within me. At first it was hard, but then things started coming faster than I could write, things I’d discounted for years. By the time I finished that list my feelings for her changed. They became warmer, loving.”

 

Attie bit her lip as she picked the list up and read it. Luna said gently, “Zel is right. Our chances of success increase if she sees a change in how he treats her. It’s not enough. And if he messes up again…”

 

“I won’t.” Zel said. “Attie, if you’re set of leaving then you don’t have to let me back into your bed. But don’t take the girls from me. It’s going to be different, because I’ve never had so much to lose.”

 

It seemed to take an eternity for Attie to respond. Eventually she said stiffly, “Get comfy on the couch.”

 

Zel exhaled at his stay of execution as Attie turned to Luna, “What else do we need to do?”

 

“She needs to learn to embrace imperfection.” Luna explained, “And she needs to show her rage rather than to take it out on herself.”

 

Zelgadis shook his head. What Luna was proposing sounded crazy, except, there was a logic to it. If Cory felt that anything short of perfection was worth killing herself over then she would have to learn to be comfortable with not being perfect. And if directing her rage inward was how Shabranigdu got control, then she would have to learn to express it outward. “Fine. How do we do that then?”

* * *

 

 

It was agreed that Luna and Charlie would stay with them. Someone would need to be with Cory constantly to make sure she didn’t hurt herself, and having three adults around to watch her was less exhausting than two. Luna moved into Cory’s room, and Cory did little to hide her sullenness over the matter.  

 

Zelgadis, meanwhile, had the hard work of changing how he treated and thought abut Cory. He ended his day writing down everything she did that he liked or appreciated, and read it first thing in the morning. And when she practiced the harp, he would challenge her to talk about what was good about her performance and wouldn’t let her talk about what was wrong. He’d worried that it would make her playing worse, but strangely, that never happened. And he still spent a lot of his time biting his tongue. He worried that Cory could sense those times, but he was doing the best he could.

 

One day, as she strummed the harp absent mindedly, she asked. “Do you want to know why Rezo could hurt you and your parents so?”

 

Zelgadis nearly fell out of his chair. He’d never talked about Rezo with her, and it was disconcerting for her to bring up the topic. He wasn’t sure he was ready for this conversation. Still, he didn’t feel right pushing her away, so he asked, “Why?”

 

“Because the hosts having children is a threat to Shabranigdu’s desire to destroy the world. With the women it was easy for him to cause them to miscarry. And there was more of a danger, because women bond with their babies before they’re born in a way that men don’t. And he used that to his advantage. He made it impossible for Rezo to feel anything but contempt for his children, and their children.”

 

Zelgadis was quiet as she continued, “Do you want to tell him anything?”

 

Zelgadis opened his mouth, and then shut it as it hit him hard that so many of the things he’d never forgiven Rezo for he had ending up doing to Cory. He hadn’t killed her parents and turned her into a chimera, but that was a very low bar. Like Rezo, he had been cold, negative and had only looked for the bad in her. And he didn’t have the excuse of having a shard within himself to fall back on. That was all his doing. Something about that realization was humbling, and he felt a weight lift off of him as he realized he couldn’t continue to hold a grudge against Rezo when he had committed similar crimes.

 

Zelgadis exhaled. “Tell him…I forgive him.”

 

Cory was quiet for a moment. “I believe you.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Lately I’ve been wanting to hurt people. Used to be whenever I was close to you it would provoke such distressing feelings that I never needed to.”

 

“Attie!” Zelgadis yelled as the conversation quickly spiraled out of anything he was comfortable with.

 

As difficult as that conversation was, they soon realized they had another problem on their hands when he glanced outside of his office window one day and saw Charlie walking Cory home from school. They were walking arm in arm, and a protective impulse rose within Zel. _She’s blind, she walks arm and arm with everyone._

 

He patted himself on the back for challenging his worse assumption, but then Charlie leaned down and whispered something in Cory’s ear, and she blushed. Zelgadis stood up and tried to reign in his anger as he made his way to the hallway.

 

He could overhear their conversation as they came in. “I could listen to you play all day. You’re just like an angel.”

 

“You know I’m not.” Cory said coyly as she leaned in closer.

 

“Says who?” he asked as he moved his hand towards her face.

 

Zelgadis cleared his throat. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” he asked Charlie.

 

“Yeah, actually, I’m meeting with a healer about an apprenticeship. I’ll be by later. See you, Cory.”

 

“Bye!” she said with a smile, and then as soon as the door closed she said much more crossly, “Daddy, you were so rude!”

 

He followed her as she walked into the living room and asked. “What’s going on with you and that boy?”

 

“Nothing.” Cory replied as she sat down by Attie.

 

“That didn’t sound like nothing.” Zelgadis replied.

 

“He is rather old for you.” Attie said, and Zelgadis was relieved that she was on his side, even as he was surprised that Cory was arguing with them.

 

“And Daddy is what, twice your age?”

 

“That’s different!” Zelgadis said, “I didn’t meet Attie until she was in her late twenties.”

 

“It’s the same age difference Grandma and Grandpa have!” Cory continued.

 

“Lina was still older when she met him.” Zelgadis said.

 

“But he’s the only one I know like me!” Cory persisted. “He’s the only one who understands what this is like!”

 

“I get that.” Attie said, “If you were older I wouldn’t worry but for now, perhaps, you shouldn’t see him alone.”

 

“But he gets me! He’s the only one who does!”

 

“If he cares about you then he will understand.” Zelgadis said.

 

Cory turned red, “But I love him!”

 

Zelgadis and Attie shared a look. Zelgadis then scoffed and turned away, while Attie said, “If that’s the case then it will grow if you wait.”

 

Cory screamed, “I don’t want to wait!”

 

Stunned, Zel turned around to see Cory racing towards the doorway and he quickly blocked it. She ran into him and pushed at him. “Get out of my way!” she yelled, and Zelgadis was stunned for a moment. Considering how she usually quietly acquiesced this was jarring, and he didn’t know what to think. But then, wasn’t this what Luna said could happen if they never left her alone?

 

“Can’t.” he said. “And you know why.”

 

She grabbed her hair and started to pull at it. Attie pulled her close and wrapped her arms around hers, forcing them to her side, “That’s enough.”

 

Cory pushed her mother off of her and ran, tripping over the end table as she did, shattering the vase perched upon it into a million pieces. She reached and grabbed a shard and brought it to her arm, and once again Attie was there to wrestle it from her. Zelgadis watched, stunned. It was a good thing to see the rage, it had been what they were hoping for by denying her the opportunity to ever be alone for the past two weeks. At the same time, he had no idea what to do, other than yell at her. And that wouldn’t help matters.

 

Cory started to cry, and Attie got beside her and put a hand on her back, fortunately not bound by the same paralysis he suffered from. But then, she had grown up watching her parents do this with Dianna. How many conversations had she said she was so relieved that she never had to go through it with Cory before they knew what the cost of that peace and calm was?

 

“It’s okay.” Attie said as she held her, “Scream, cry and breath, but don’t hurt yourself.”

 

Zelgadis took a deep breath and joined them and decided it was best to follow Attie’s lead “It’s okay.”

 

He looked up, and saw that, for the first time since they had found Cory was hurting herself, Attie was looking at him lovingly, as though the old feelings were starting to rekindle and ignite. And despite the chaos of the situation, he felt a peace that things would be okay.

 

* * *

 

“I never thought I’d say it, but thank goodness for puberty.” Lina commented as she sat on the porch beside Gourry and drank her tea.

 

“That, and being prohibited from being alone. Perfect storm for bringing the rage to the surface.” Zelgadis said. “You don’t think Attie and I are being too unyielding over Charlie?”

 

Gourry tried to say something, but his speech had still not fully recovered from his stroke. And while he could walk and move about, his dexterity was greatly reduced, so that his days of swordplay were behind him. Lina, meanwhile, had apparently gotten used to listening to his speech. “He says that he was more mindful of my age than Charlie is of Cory’s. And he was. And she is just thirteen, and she’s just now learning to stand up for herself, something I learned long before that age. I also had enough confidence in myself that if any man tried to take advantage of me I would have beat the crap out of them. Cory doesn’t know how to do that, and while she’s powerful, she’s not trained in it like I was.”

 

Lina thought for a moment, “Unarmed, I’m more powerful than Gourry, and even armed he tends to be of the persuasion I’d win in a fight. It helped create a mutual respect despite my youth. Cory and Charlie get their power from the same source and with his age and maturity and he can use it against her. I don’t like it.”

 

“So you won’t be mad to learn that I talked to Luna about fabricating some reason for him to go back to Zefiel City?” Zel asked.

 

Lina chuckled, “Not at all! And let us hope we never hear from him again!”

 

“So you’re not keen on this match?”

 

“I’m not keen on being related no matter how tangentially to his father.” Lina said, and from beside her, Gourry held her hand.

 

They enjoyed the silence for a moment, and then Zelgadis asked, “How did you deal with this rage without wanting to punch back?”

 

Lina glanced at Gourry. “That was always easier for him than it was for me. She does have to get control of it. It will take time, and it will get easier. Just bite your tongue, take a lot of deep breaths, and call Attie when you need to.”

 

Zelgadis was going to speak, but he saw Attie coming up to them, looking flushed. He started to worry about what had happened now with Cory, but when she climbed the stairs she announced to her parents, “You two have a new grandson!”

 

Lina stood up, “But Pomona wasn’t due for another month!”

 

“It happened fast, Mom. She started bleeding again when Min and I were out for lunch with her. We got her to the healer’s and they did a c-section. I’m sorry that there wasn’t time to get you, but it did happen fast. She’s doing fine, and he’s small but they think he’ll push through.”

 

Lina gasped, and threw her arms around her, and then went and embraced her husband. Gourry asked something, and Lina translated, “Can we see them?”

 

“Yes! I’m about to go and get the girls but I wanted to let you know first.”

 

Lina squeezed her arm, and then she helped Gourry up. Zelgadis stood up, and was pleasantly surprised when Attie took his hand. As they made the short walk to their house he asked, “So does he fit the Gabriev template?”

 

“No, actually. I think he looks like his father. It happens every so often.”

 

They talked pleasantly as they got into the house, only to stop short when they heard Cory yelling at Luna, “You’re mean! You did this on purpose! You’re just an old maid who wants to keep me from being with the man I love out of spite!”

 

“Oh Cory,” Attie said, “Sometimes this just happens. If it’s meant to be you’ll get together later.”

 

“I bet you two are real happy right now.” Cory said contemptuously.

 

“I’m relieved, yes.” Zelgadis said honestly, “But not happy if it’s making you this upset.”

 

He moved to sit by her and looked at Attie and Luna, “Why don’t you two grab Juliet and go and see your new nephew?”

 

“Nephew?” Luna repeatedly.

 

“Pomona had her baby. They’re both doing fine.” Attie explained.

 

That, at least, pulled Cory from her anger a little, “Will we get to see him?”

 

“Yes, we’re leaving as soon as we get Juliet. Is she in her room?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“We’ll be back, then.”

 

Once they had left, Zelgadis said gently, “I know a thing or two about being separated from who you love.”

 

“That’s different!” Cory said, “You have no idea what this is like! What it’s like to be the only one you know who is like you…”

 

“Like when I was a chimera?” he asked, stopping her in her tracks. “I never met anyone like me when I was a chimera, but I did meet someone who showed me an acceptance I never thought I’d experience. But a Saillune princess would never have been allowed to marry me.”

 

“Saillune princess?” Cory asked as she put the pieces together, “You and Queen Amelia were in love?”

 

Zelgadis nodded, “And we had to part ways. Because of that, and because I needed to get my body cured before I could be with anyone. By the time that happened she was married with grown sons, and we still couldn’t be together. So I know a lot about this Corentina. I know how you’re hurting now, and I know it will get better.”

 

She slumped forward a little as she thought it over, and he quietly continued, “It happened again when I met your mother. I wanted to settle down and have a family. She didn’t. She broke my heart. And look, when the time was right, we did get back together. If it’s meant to be, it will happen.”

 

She was silent for a moment, and then she leaned her head against his shoulder and put a hand on his knee. And for once, he didn’t shudder at her proximity. For the first time, he could be there for her and empathize with her in a way he’d only been able to do with Juliet. “How you feel about me has changed.” She stated quietly.

 

He closed his eyes and wrapped an arm around her. “I should have woken up to how important you are to me earlier. I should have let myself feel the love earlier.”

 

She smiled as she said, “I feel it now.”

 

He could hear the others coming down the stairs, and he wished that they would slow down. But then suddenly Cory shrieked. Startled, he looked at her to see that her eyes were open. He didn’t understand for a moment, and fear overwhelmed him that it meant something bad. But she merely looked at him curiously and asked, “Daddy?”

 

“Yes.” He said. “You can see?”

 

“Is this what it’s like?” she asked.

 

Attie, Luna and Juliet raced into the room, and when Cory turned towards them, Attie put a hand over her heart. “Cory?” she breathed.

 

“Mom?” Cory said as she stood up and walked over to her as she exclaimed exuberantly, “I can see!”

 

“How?” Attie asked as she walked forward and embraced her, and was soon joined by Juliet.

 

“It looks as though Shabranigdu lost some more influence on her.” Luna explained, “It’s a sign that our hard work is paying off. Seeing such drastic changes in Cory’s own lifetime is more than I would have expected. He can’t manipulate her body anymore.”

 

Zelgadis shakily got up and joined the group hug. Luna, meanwhile, cautioned, “We must not lose our vigilance, though. This may not even be permanent. Losing her sight again could be a warning sign that he is gaining control.”

 

“But even if I do, at least I’ll have had this experience and will have gotten to see everyone. Wait! I want to see what I look like!” Cory proclaimed, and Attie walked her over to a mirror.

 

“This is a mirror. You can see yourself in it.”

 

“Wow.” As she stared at her reflection.

 

“Your eyes are just as beautiful and blue as I remember them in my prophecy.” Attie said as she hugged her from behind.

 

“So that’s what blue looks like.” She said contemplatively.

 

Zelgadis smiled, and said, “Are you ready to see the rest of your family?”

 

“Yeah, everyone is going to be visiting Pomona and the new baby. It will be a great chance to see them all!” Attie said.

 

“Let’s get going then!” Cory said.

 

For once, Cory raced ahead to the door, Juliet on her heels. Attie hung back and wrapped her arm around his, “This was your doing. Shabranigdu gets them to focus so intently on what they can’t have. But by loving her you took that away.”

 

He didn’t know anything to say to that, so he leaned forward to kiss her, and she returned it. As they started to walk after the girls, for the first time in a while, Zelgadis felt that no matter what, things would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, wrote this, kept it to 3 chapters, and it didn't spawn any new storylines. One more one shot left in this series!

**Author's Note:**

> OK, I lied. I have two more fics in this continuity planned. This came to me while writing The Storm and I eventually couldn't ignore it any longer.


End file.
